Friday, April 13, 2012

Happy Friday The 13th

Here at the Old Shoes and Tea Society we have a saying, "There's nothing like winning the lottery on Friday the 13th!"  So being the president, and CEO, of the society I feel it is my duty to win the lottery tonight.  I think it is up to 10 million dollars which I believe is plenty o' cash for this cowgirl.  Ten million would be plenty enough for me to do whatever my little heart desires and still have money left over to spread some of the wealth to family and friends.  And maybe even have a big blowout party. 

Sadly the countertops did not make it in this week.  Very sadly.  So sad in fact that I had to drown my sorrow in junk food.  Of course my little three kilometer walk did zero to counter act the effects of that indulgence.  So it looks like we have to wait until Monday now.  Did I mention how sad I am about that? 

The good news is that according to the weather wizards tomorrow looks to be a sunny and warmish type day.  Which means that I will drag the old mountain bike out of hibernation, dust it off, oil it up, put some air in the tires and take it for a little spin.  My butt is hurting already.  I think I will also take the kayak out and maybe get it a little wet.  We have a couple of Canadian geese hanging out on the island across from Kitpu Manor who came to visit us this afternoon so tomorrow I may return the favour.  Those geese can get a little pissy sometimes, I don't understand why, after all they are Canadian so shouldn't they be all friendly like?  Hopefully I won't have to use my paddle as an anti-goose shield.  But if I have to I will and there would be a very good chance that I would have to change the name of the place to Dead Goose Estates.  Or, The Floating Goose Palace.  Or, Have Paddle Will Destroy Lake.  Look at me being all prepared. 

I went to a really weird job interview today, the entire interview was them trying to talk me into taking the job.  I know I've been out of the work force for a year now but I'm pretty sure it isn't supposed to be like that. Least wise when I was hiring staff to work for me I had a whole different set of questions I usually asked.  Namely, "So tell me why you would make a good addition to my team?"  Or, "Come on gang how can we solve this problem?  Lets think outside the box."  Or even, "Let's not throw him under the bus just because his idea didn't pan out."  Yeah I used to say dumb ass things like that.  Thankfully I never really believed any of the crap coming out of my mouth.  I felt a LOT better when I started saying stuff like "WTF?  Who shit the bed on this one!" 

Oh how I miss the poetry of business vernacular.  You know that whole catch phrase crap that means absolutely nothing to anyone but everyone pretends that it does. 

Typical Discussion During Another Meaningless Meeting:

The Douche Who Thinks He's Gods Gift To The Company, AKA Bob -  "In order to make us more competitive in the world we need to ensure that the synergistic upward-trending extranet has been peppered with our total needs-based analyzer and mixed with a balanced full-range hub portfolio.  Why don't we pull out the stand-alone foreground model and crunch the numbers." 

Me - "Good idea Bob but it wouldn't hurt if we had a well balanced operative pricing structure so we can use the polarized eco-centric protocol baffle before they realign the zero tolerance motivator with the flexibility automated mission critical conglomeration filter.  Either that or everyone could just get off their fat asses and do some actual work." 

Bob - "Good point Iron Bess, but don't you think that if we fine tune the eco-centric protocol to encompass a face to face multimedia parallelism then the synergistic zero administration portal will generate money out of thin air?" 

Me - "You could be right Bob that is if your ego would allow you to take your head out of your asshole that is." 

Bob - "Ha-ha, Iron Bess you are so funny."

Me - "Bite me Bob."   

No comments:

Post a Comment